So, as it was, whilst attempting to procure a little enlightenment via Keats in a supermarket parking lot, that I stumbled across the Schizophrenic Shopper. A middle aged lady of not abhorrent appearance, she talked away at regular pitch and volume, completely alone but for her apparent friends the grocery items. I couldn't tell if she was talking to herself or to the produce to be honest, but she did bust out phrases like "Oh, aren't you a large packet of toilet rolls," "you can't go there, you're not meant to go there" and my personal favourite "why do you do this to me?" Do what? Is she angry at the bananas for being a dollar a pound? It's not the air freshener's fault that it was buy one get one free.
I continued to get a few more minutes of this blissful observation until the nice lady got into her nice car and in her white Toyota straightjacket she drove away. S.H.
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